


A Few Steps Behind

by COSMICraven117



Series: Crows, Ravens & Alternative Realities [3]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 06:10:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15357978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/COSMICraven117/pseuds/COSMICraven117
Summary: In the Dreaming City, I committed the greatest sin. I took the lives of three guardians and obliterated their ghosts. They took what was most precious to me and for that, I showed them dragon fire.





	A Few Steps Behind

**Author's Note:**

> So, with Forsaken incoming I've been in an emotional state. With Cayde dying and Uldren the one responsible, I've been in a surreal twilight zone. Why? For these four years, Uldren and Raven have gotten me through extremely lows of my life. They are precious to me. But with Forsaken having Uldren as the antagonist I'm losing hope that he will survive. So this oneshot writing is actually based off a dream I had. I guess I'm accepting Uldren's inevitable death, so that when Forsaken comes around, I will be better after already grieving. So here is my sadness and frustration manifesting, I hope you all enjoy reading this and can understand how I feel.

I was always a few steps behind Uldren in many ways. In terms of my training, my objectives, even in dancing. He would always say I had two left feet. I didn’t mind because no matter how many times I would be behind him, Uldren always turned back and guided me forward. I can’t remember when exactly he allowed his guard down to me, but it was indeed a long process. However long it took, it was worth it.

 

Queen Mara said she trusted me with her brother, my friend Kali said I made him a better person, my sisters were just happy for me. Ultimately, I didn’t care what the others thought because one truth meant more to me than anything. Uldren Sov, loved me. I can still recall that evening in the Dreaming City. We began our courtship a week prior to our adventure in the heart of our homeland but it was that very evening I witnessed the Prince’s deepest feelings.

 

I remember how we stood in a private pavilion that overlooked the Dreaming City, I was fiddling with vines and leaves that hung from the arch above me. Uldren was simply watching me, as if I was the only thing in his world. We both wore something more casual and light compared to our armor but far more elegant and sleek. He was the first to utter the word love which shocked me. Not that I doubted he was capable of feeling such emotions, I just never expected myself to be the subject.

 

Uldren approached me from behind and I smiled at the feeling of his arms around my waist, we usually kept our affection to a minimum in public but we were in complete seclusion. He would pepper my neck and ear with soft kisses and would trace my tattoos with his fingertips. I would trace the tattoos that ran down his cheeks and twist strands of his hair with my finger. This would be our usual session of quiet affection, until Uldren did something quite unexpected.

 

I felt a presence, gentle but certainly looming over me. It felt like I was being embraced from every angle, coiled up and then I heard it. I heard Uldren’s voice not from his lips but rather in my mind. “ _I love you. I want you as mine, and I want to be yours.”_ I gasped and flinched, Uldren looked at me in concern. Simply, I was overwhelmed by Uldren’s power of telepathy and his deepest admission. He loved me, truly but how could he? I wasn’t of high status, I was simply a warrior, a sword of the Reef. He smirked at me, amused at the thought of me worrying about my place.

 

“You think I care of such things? Statuses and titles and formalities? Is it so strange that I love you for you? Your strength, resilience, creativity, kindness, and beauty? The many things that make you Raven Curator.” Uldren spoke out with his words this time and I couldn’t help but turn away, it was hard to accept the good things about me. I moved to the edge of pavilion and leaned against a column. When I lifted my head to look at him I couldn’t hold back my tears.

 

“I don’t know if I’m good enough for you, Uldren.” It’s all I could say. He instantly rejected my statement and shook his head. I closed my eyes but I heard his footsteps approach me. When my glossy eyes finally opened once more, I saw his boots and I struggled to lift my head up to face him again.

 

“Raven, please look at me.” His finger was under my chin, there to support and guide me but he patiently waited for me to move first. I took a deep intake of breath and lifted my head slowly, Uldren’s finger guided it up and soon our eyes met. He smiled and gently brushed my tears away. “Look my dear, you are good enough for me. Beyond just good. Listen, if I have to tell you how great you are every day than I will do so.”

 

“Every day?”

 

“Every day.” He echoed and planted a kiss to my forehead. I would always have fear and anxiety but Uldren vowed his mission to me. It was then I realized he did indeed, truly loved me. I framed his face and pulled him down so our lips could meet. I felt a tingling warm at the base of my neck and stomach. Our kisses always felt like peace and contentment. When our lips finally parted I whispered, “I love you.”

 

“And I love you.” He said it with such a soft and endearing tone. I smiled and poked at his chest.

  
  
“You must teach me that power of yours.”

 

 _“Oh you mean this?”_ He smirked at me and projected more sensations of warm embraces at me. I gasped and held on to his shoulders. “ _It’s more than exchanging thoughts, we can share feelings. The power of our minds is endless, my dear and I will show you.”_ Again, a few steps behind Uldren but I didn’t care because he would always be there to guide me.

*** 

Those days were more simple, peaceful, less complicated. Reborn as a guardian was definitely a strange time for me, it was surreal that for three years I didn’t know who I truly was. But I fought my way back, I clawed at my stolen memories and I reclaimed who I was. As I was restoring myself, my dear Uldren was lost to the tides of time. The battle of the Dreadnaught destroyed so much of our fleet, killed so many, and took the other person that mattered to Uldren. Since then I’ve been searching for him, trailing behind him like the ways I used to. I did of course find him eventually, but he was changed. He wasn’t the Uldren I remember, he was desperate, lost, and yet still driven.

 

It was strange to be walking the grounds of our homeland once more, for it felt forever changed as well. The beautiful structures still stood tall but it felt cold and forsaken. If Uldren did indeed returned to the Dreaming City, I only knew one place he’d retreat to. Without his Barons, without his people, without his sister, I was certain he felt despair. I called forth my light and my wings of flame sprouted from my back. I took flight toward our old pavillion that sat towards the top of the realm. Below I saw how time affected my old home, overgrown plants covered most of the towers and the trees grew wild without the guidance of menders.

 

I landed upon the steps that lead up to our small pocket of peace all that time ago. I noticed the white marble stones were tainted in red. It was blood and soon fear overtook me. I ascended the steps in urgency and once I passed the threshold I wailed in anguish. Uldren was slumped against one of the columns in a pool of his own blood. I sprinted towards him and knelt beside him. His eyes were closed and I held his face with shaky hands. I called out to him with tears streaking down my face and saw the bullet holes that pierced his armor. His eyes slowly peeled open and he smiled just slightly.

 

“I must be dead then…” His voice was labored and quiet.

 

“No Uldren, I’m here I’m really here! Please love I’ve been trailing behind you ever since.”

 

His eyes glazed over as if he didn’t believe me, desperately I planted kisses on his cheek. I had to get him to believe, I feared his blood loss made him delirious. My hands went down to his wounds and I called to my ghost. “Farren, is there any way you can stop this?” Uldren grabbed my wrist and pulled my attention away from his wounds.

 

“Oh… don’t bother. I won’t make it.”

 

“Yes you will damn it, you’ll make it. You have to. Uldren… you can’t leave me!”

 

At this point he coughed harshly and spat up blood, I hushed him and put pressure back on the gunshot wounds. “Farren! Now!”

  
“Raven I can only heal you, I can’t help him.” I refused to believe my ghost’s words.

 

“No no no! You make this work I am not losing him!” Uldren gritted his teeth and extended a hand to my face, when we made contact he pulled my head to his. When they touched he took a long heavy breath.

 

“It’s alright, Raven. Seeing you now is more than enough for me. At least you’re here at the end.” I couldn’t believe my ears, _I could_ _not believe my very ears._

 

“But it doesn’t have to be the end! I can save you love! Please, please don’t do this to me. I have spent so much time looking for you, I’ve done so much to get to this point! Uldren, I’m begging you… p-please, don’t leave me…”

 

I was a mess of tears, my hands held his poncho with a death grip, I refused to even think about my life without him. I saw him reach for something rolled up under him and he pressed it to my chest. I was confused and unrolled the bundled cloth, only to whimper. It was his old cloak, still tattered and feathered like I remembered.

 

“Listen to me love, I don’t have much time left. Please take it. I’m… I’m sorry about everything. If only I could have protected you that day, you wouldn’t have died and become a guardian. If, if only…” His head lowered slightly and I supported it up with my finger, just like he would do for me all that time ago. Uldren tried to chuckle but it came out as bloody wet cough.

 

“What happened in the past happened. There was nothing we could do. Please don’t blame yourself. Please do that for me.” I begged him, pleaded desperately as my world crumbled around me. He finally nodded and his last words were not spoken from his lips.

 

_“Please find Mara, complete my mission. The Reef must always have a Queen. And Raven, my dear, never forget that I love you. I always have.”_

 

 _“I love you too.”_ Even in my mind those were the only words I had the strength to form. He smiled at me with all his strength one last time, before his glowing golden eyes dimmed and faded. I heard his last exhale of breath, his head slumped to the side and his hand fell from my cheek. I can’t recall the sound I made when Uldren died but I’m sure it was a scream. I embraced his limp body and wept. My mind reached out to him once more out of need and I felt the gaping void that was once him.

 

My Uldren Sov was gone, taken from me. My body shook and I felt like I was floating in a realm of nothing, and Uldren’s body was my only anchor. I somehow had the strength to reach out and close his eyes gently. It was slightly more bearable to look at him, Uldren looked as if he was sleeping. I heard the stomping of feet and rustling of cloth. I was beyond comprehensive thought and words evaded me. I stood up tall and stared down the three guardians that dared to invade the pavilion. Our sacred place, _my_ sacred place now.

 

My eyes fell down to weapon that the hunter wielded, the scuffed and faded Ace of Spades. It became clear in that moment. I don’t know how or who started the confrontation, but all I remember was burning the guardians alive and striking down their ghosts with my sword. In the crucible, it’s normal to fight fellow guardians and to test your might against others in the spirit of competition. But my rage and grief drove me to commit a great sin. I took the life of three guardians and destroyed their ghosts. I took the damn Ace of Spades with me, no one shall take this as some prize. It should belong to Cayde's companion. Someday I shall return it to her.

 

I left after I put Uldren’s body to rest. I belonged nowhere at that point. The Tower, the Reef, nowhere. I will be hunted down by the everliving cycle of revenge so Earth is not an option. The Reef had too many memories, too many painful memories because in every hallway, every abandoned chamber, was Uldren. I decided to go out, beyond Sol. I sought out a place away from everything as I continued to search for Mara. The crows were lost, cast adrift without a leader and master. They knew me as Uldren’s companion and chose to follow me.

 

Now I sit here mediating at the edge of known space as the new and last Master of Crows. Here the planet is silent. Nothing but silence and infinite white sands beyond my home. I was sitting at the top of my tower, draped in Uldren’s cloak. Although I never got over his passing, having his cloak brought me some peace to my troubled mind. The feathers would occasionally tickle my neck, it was warm and large enough to sleep in, and it still smelled of Uldren. It is my most treasured gift. A crow fluttered at my feet and bowed respectfully. It had been months after finding a clue of Mara’s whereabouts, and now a crow had finally returned.

 

“Master, I have news to share.”

 

“Oh? Do tell.” 


End file.
